I recently recorded a special message to address the current state of chaos around racial injustice and the accompanying protests.
In it, I have some encouragements that might help you understand how things are shaking out from a global/kingdom perspective, as well as some practical takeaways to help you navigate this season.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below.
This blog entry features an article By Ann Betz and William Arruda
My friend, business genius William Arruda and I sat down recently to talk about why coaching matters so much–even, perhaps MORE–during this Covid-19 crisis. Here are the top ten reasons we came up with:
Many tools and techniques of professional coaching are scientifically proven to reduce stress. When we are stressed, it is much more difficult to have empathy, think creatively, control impulses, and make effective plans. When stress is reduced through coaching, people have more access to creativity, empathy, and resilience, all of which are critical right now.
Coaching helps people process what is going on. This is an unprecedented time—the very fact that we have little to compare it to makes it exceptionally difficult to process and make sense of. Without processing during the time we are in the experience, we run a high probability of either crashing when it is over, or sublimating our worry, fear and stress into health issues, low energy, and other negative impacts. When we notice and allow our true feelings and concerns, we move the energy through and stay steadier and more able to cope both during and after. Many people need the support of coaching in order to do this effectively.
Coaching helps people find their own resilience and capacity, even when we can’t change the external landscape. Any coach worth their salt knows to focus on the client, not the issue. When people are what we might call, “returned to themselves” through coaching, they see more possibility and find more internal resilience. This restores some sense of control in what feels like an uncontrollable world.
The small amount invested in coaching during a crisis will pay off in terms of larger gains. The companies and individuals that will get through this time are those that maintain a fair amount of calm center, limit the toxic impact of stress, are flexible and agile, and truly “think outside the box.” Given the impact of the circumstances we find ourselves in, it is highly unlikely that people will find their way there without the kind of support coaching provides.
Giving managers and leaders coaching provides a noticeable ripple effect. Research shows that leaders have a potent impact on the “weather” of their organization. When they are calm, emotionally regulated, thoughtful, and patient, those around them feel more able to respond more thoughtfully as well. (Same is true for parents and children.)
This will most likely lead to permanent changes for individuals and orgs. We know coaching is one of the most effective ways to help people navigate change. We’re not going back to “business as usual” after this. Coaching helps us know and express our own needs, desires and boundaries as things change so we can be active “co-creators” in what is to come.
It is more critical than ever to retain and develop top talent. We’re going to need extraordinary thinking and performance to help any enterprise—whether it is a business, a school, or even a family—get through this. As things are pointing to different structures in how we do business, all enterprises are going to need to rely more on multiple layers of leadership. Coaching helps develop people’s leadership strengths and confidence, and is also a proven retention strategy.
Coaches help people get unstuck and move out of fixed patterns or mindsets. Surviving and thriving in this time requires an adaptable brain that can respond with flexibility and creativity, while still being thoughtful and applying logic. Coaching helps people identify limiting beliefs and move into more open and responsive mindsets.
People are thinking about purpose and meaning as a result of this crisis. Without support in terms of surfacing and focusing on questions of meaning, life purpose, and important values, all too often the things we learn in crisis are lost. Coaching can help us powerfully reflect on what we are learning about ourselves.
People will be using this opportunity to make major life and work changes and will need a coach to help navigate this change. Our old patterns and habits are well-wired into our brains. Making real change is disruptive to the system, and we need support to make major changes. Coaching is all about the reflection-action-reflection cycle of learning. A coach helps us identify what we want, try some things to put it into action, reflect on what we learned, and then continue this positive cycle as we move into new ways of being and therefore new results in our lives.
Ann Betz consults on the science of coaching for the ICF education department, and served as provocateur for the online learning ICF Advance in 2018 and will again in 2020. She is the author of This Is Your Brain on Coaching, the science of the ICF competencies, and has been a professional coach since 2001. She is the co-founder of BEabove Leadership, offering advanced coach training on neuroscience for the experienced and curious coach. She is a sought-after international speaker on the intersection of neuroscience, coaching, and human development, and works with many global brands and coaching organizations.
William Arruda is an entrepreneur, motivational speaker and the world’s leading authority on the topic of personal branding. He’s the bestselling author of the definitive books on the topic: Career Distinction and Ditch. Dare. Do! His latest book, Digital YOU helps readers translate their real-world brands for the virtual world. William is the CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer) of Reach Personal Branding and the co-founder of CareerBlast.TV – a personal and digital branding video learning platform for innovative organizations. His products have been used by over a million people across the globe. William is honored to work with many of the world’s most revered brands, including 20% of the Fortune 100. He regularly shares his thoughts on workplace trends and branding in his Forbes column. In 2015, he was awarded the ICF Chair’s Award for his contributions to the field of coaching.
https://yourcoachingbrain.wordpress.com/2020/04/28/top-ten-reasons-you-and-your-organization-need-coaching-more-than-ever-right-now/
In this difficult time the motives and character of many people are going to be revealed. This will be especially highlighted in leaders.
Jesus (my favorite leader) taught about a specific leadership dynamic when he compared himself to a good shepherd versus a hired hand in the Gospel of John chapter 10 verses 11-13. Sheep being a metaphor for people and a shepherd being a metaphor for a leader.
John 10:11-13 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.”
The hallmark of good leaders is that they they care more about the needs and well-being of their people than they do about their own reputation and rewards. You may have heard this referred to as “servant-leadership.”
Contrast that with “hired hands” - leaders who are only in it for themselves - greater pay, notoriety, the feeling of power and authority, etc. They don’t care about the people they lead, so when adversity comes that requires self-sacrifice, they abandon their responsibilities.
We’re now in a time of adversity with the COVID-19 pandemic. It will get worse before it gets better, and people will need good leadership more than ever. So watch and see how the good shepherd vs. hired hand dynamic plays out. You’ll notice the hired hand leaders abandoning their posts when the job gets too hard or the benefits disappear. You’ll also see extraordinary service and sacrifice manifested through previously-unnoticed true shepherds.
This applies to leaders at all levels and in all sectors or society - from national political and industrial leaders to managers in small organizations to individual families.
But don’t just watch. There will be opportunities for you to step up and fill leadership voids yourself if you’re willing to serve others without a focus on rewards. It will be difficult, thankless, maybe unnoticed, and there will be times when you won’t know what to do. But if you’re willing to lay down your life to care for others, God will give you the strength and wisdom that you need.
A liberal Millennial and conservative Boomer talk politics - and live to tell about it!
This was one of my best interviews so far. I had the awesome Damaris Giha as my special guest, and even though we have very different backgrounds and views, we had a constructive, civil discussion (imagine that)!
Together, we discuss how campaign strategies manipulate us, and practical ways that you can maintain your mental and emotional health.
Highlights include:
1:00 - A negative mindset can impede your destiny
2:03 - “Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote”
3:48 - A millennial/liberal/woman of color and a Boomer/conservative/white male talk politics!
6:30 - How Damaris’ background shaped her political views
11:44 - Your views evolve over time
15:10 - We are all being played. Accept it
18:50 - Your views make sense for you, but not everyone else
20:20 - It takes a lot of work to understand someone's perspective
23:58 - A sinister form of voter suppression
25:54 - Narratives are invented first, then evidence is found to confirm
28:47 - Why the younger generation is cynical and fatigued
31:18 - Free resource download - Attitude Check
33:15 - Your opposition is way more moderate than you’re led to believe
35:40 - When you’re upset that someone voted for Trump
36:55 - Stop thinking either/or. Start thinking both/and
41:03 - How to be a bridge builder
44:08 - The media makes money by getting you upset
47:00 - Damaris’ suggestions for good emotional health
I’d love to hear your comments on this episode. Which issues resonate with you? What would you like us to talk about more?
I’ve struggled with being judgmental most of my life. At times I felt more like the guy in this picture than the woman. Can you relate? But I discovered a powerful key that’s changing my perspective and helps me appreciate others just the way they are. It really has been revolutionary and that’s why I’m excited to share it with you.
In this week’s podcast my friend and business partner, Dave Mead, and I talk about how we’ve both grown in emotional intelligence. The segment that explains how it defused my judgmental attitudes starts here.
I hope you enjoy this week’s full episode. Here are some shortcuts to other highlights:
0:54 - “Be Who You Is.”
1:47 - “At 60 years old I feel like I’ve missed the boat.”
6:28 - Dave was living a life that was “invisible,” avoiding both the spotlight and the limelight
9:09 - “Mostly, it feels lonely.”
11:10 - “I just assumed this was the way life was supposed to be lived”
13:28 - CliftonStrengths gave Dave a language to describe who he really is.
17:00 - It’s very freeing to know who you are NOT
18:21 - The genesis of WeAlign
25:09 - Pete’s story getting coached through CliftonStrengths
28:38 - Understanding a “destiny wound”
34:53 - Learning about strengths defuses a judgmental attitude
39:00 - Team coaching lead to workplace transformation
44:00 - Don’t ever lose hope. If you’re stuck or lost, coaching can really help.
Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast on your favorite listening app:
One of my greatest joys as a coach is when I see my clients achieve results. I like to tell their stories because it shows everyone else what’s possible and inspires hope. It helps to hear the nitty-gritty reality of exactly how other other people are doing it.
In this week’s podcast, I interview Jody Thompson who got amazing clarity on his life purpose. Then just a few days later a new career opportunity opened up for him. Understanding the intrinsic needs associated with his strong talents was one of the keys that unlocked his destiny.
I hope you enjoy this week’s episode. Here are some highlights:
Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast on your favorite listening app:
As you think about your team’s performance goals for 2020, have you blocked out time for strategic planning? Whether this happens in a one-day session or a full-blown offsite retreat, there are some very real benefits to having a third party facilitator lead the planning process. Consider the following:
You’re free to participate. When someone else is running the meetings, it frees you up to be fully present in the discussions. The facilitator will worry about agendas, schedules, and group dynamics, and you’ll be available to bring you best thinking, undistracted.
Speaking with candor. A third party has no stake in internal politics or pet projects, so they can say the tough things when needed. I tell my clients, “If I don’t ruffle your feathers at some point, I’m not doing my job.” That might include calling out rude behavior, or pushing the team out of their comfort zone.
They know what works. A skilled facilitator has done this before. They’ve encountered all types of personalities and group dynamics. They know which exercises produce results and which are a waste of time. And they know how to pace the sessions, infuse variety and team-building exercises, and get you “unstuck” when things break down.
New ideas and approaches. Your team is entrenched in solving specific problems and driving productivity. But sometimes, their intense focus is limiting. An outsider can bring a fundamental shift in your approach, opening up new ways of thinking and giving a perspective that you may not have considered before.
External validation. You may be pitching an idea to your team for months only to have it fall on deaf ears. But when an outsider presents the exact same idea people perk up, listen, and buy into it. Use that dynamic to your advantage. A skilled facilitator can help bring your team to the same conclusions so that they embrace it as their own.
It’s not too early to schedule your 2020 strategic planning. Engage a facilitator to ensure your team gets the most enjoyment and best results from their efforts.
Are you like me? I can get so caught up in the challenges of day-to-day life that I lose perspective on the big picture - why I’m alive, the good things I have to offer the world, and the fact that I really am making a difference. Can you relate?
When I get “battle weary” I tend to focus on my problems and all the ways I haven’t lived up to my potential. That’s when my friends’ perspective is really important. They have the ability to see my potential, and sometimes they believe in me more than I believe in myself.
So I got thinking… instead of waiting for those encouragements to come around, what if we could proactively capture them? The result was a simple self-coaching tool that I developed. It has practical exercises and some simple questions to ask yourself.
Just click here to download it for free. It walks you through a simple process, and even has an instructional video with tips.
And you can click this link to listen to a recent segment on Dynamic Destiny Radio where unpack the concept in more detail.
If you like the download or the radio show please tell a friend about it.
And let me know what kind of insights you gained through the process. I might feature your reply on the show.
Thanks for reading. I hope this helps you gain clarity and see your full potential, because you really are God’s gift to the world.
With a combination of excitement and nervousness, I’m announcing my new radio show, Dynamic Destiny Radio. The show launches on September 18th, 2019 at noon EDT.
Together we’ll go deeper into topics from The Re:Pete blog, interview guests, and answer live questions.
Go to petecoaching.com/radio to listen live and check podcast archives in the future.
Thanks for all your support and wonderful comments. Keep ‘em coming. And please help spread the word about the radio show by telling your friends.
What topics would you like to hear us unpack on the show?
Lou & Selma Cafarchio
I stopped by my parent’s house for a short visit and captured some video footage of their keys to a happy life.
At 88 and 89 years old, they’re doing very well. They still live independently, and are active in their community. They’re a cute couple, and still in love with each other after all these years.
Some of the values they share here might sound a little old-fashioned and simple, but that’s the point. They are time-tested and true, and they work!
And let’s show the rest of the world what long-term love looks like. Share the video in your social media feeds if you’d like.
Wishing you the best,
Coach Pete
