"A Big Confidence-Builder for Me"

By far my favorite part of coaching is when my clients get real results. The following testimonial is from an IT exec who was losing his confidence due to age discrimination and a bad work culture. He has a great turnaround story.

“My career was stagnating.  Despite being highly skilled and having a good history of success, I was faced with fewer and fewer options and a management culture that didn’t appreciate my experience or talent. 

“To make matters worse, the perception that I might be too old (ageism) was really hurting my confidence.  That put me at the mercy of the standard job hunting system.  I found myself reacting to each job opening, changing myself to try to fit the very narrow  job descriptions.  It didn’t work, and it actually eroded my energy and confidence even further.  

“I knew I needed a different method, and that’s when a friend introduced me to Coach Pete.  He took me through a completely different approach that was counter-intuitive.  Pete listened without judging me, but he didn’t sugar-coat the truth either.  He told me what I needed to hear and patiently walked me through the process.

“Along the way, I gained some valuable insights.  For instance, not only was I good at my craft, but that I still am good at it.  My age and experience are a huge plus when positioned properly.  And some challenges weren’t my fault - my entire industry is at a “low tide,” and that affects us all.  So that helped me to level-set on my expectations.   

“But the biggest insight was getting clarity on my own values.  Through coaching I was able to see the fact that trust and respect are very important to me.  So I needed to find a work culture that valued those qualities as well. 

“I’m happy to say that I’m now in a new role that’s a great fit for me.  Beyond salary requirements, I’m getting the important things that I need to feel fulfilled.  Without coaching, I wouldn’t have been able to identify those.

“Working through this process was a big confidence-builder for me, and I’ve been recommending Coach Pete to all my friends who are looking for a change.”

• Jim Longo, IT Executive
  

What’s holding you back from the career you really want? Let’s talk - no obligation

Waiting For Your Destiny

Image by Lorri Lang from Pixabay

When I was an idealistic young man I dreamt big, had a clear sense of destiny, and was excited for the future.

Fast forward 35 years, and the realities of life, career, and raising a family have a way of squashing those dreams right out of a person. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

I didn’t really question my destiny because I truly believe God planted those dreams in my heart to propel me forward. The bigger question was, between my present reality and my future dreams, what do I do in the meantime?

Those long in-between years can cause you to lose heart. So in this week’s video I share five principles that I’ve discovered along the way to keep you moving forward on your path to destiny.

Plus I show you a little of my morning bicycle path :-)

Please write back to me and tell me where you’re at in your journey. I’d love to hear your story.

How to Leverage Insights for Results

Image by TeroVesalainen from Pixabay

If I had a dollar for every life-changing insight of mine that never went anywhere, I’d be a rich man - or at least I’d have a lot of dollars. Here are a few things I’ve learned (the hard way), that I’d like to pass on to you.

1) Your insight was only meant to be a booster, not the end goal.

Harnessed properly, insights provide new energy to push past your fears, prejudices, limitations, and inertia. But the only way for the insight to fulfill its boosting function is for you to take action. Otherwise it becomes just another clever thought.

2) You can’t store these up. 

The power of an insight will disappear pretty quickly (I give it 3 days, max, for me) if it’s not coupled with action. The lie I tell myself is that it’s safe to procrastinate - I can store it for now and dust it off when I need it. The truth is, that rarely works.

3) The Law of Diminishing Intent.

Jim Rohn coined this phrase, “The longer you wait to do something you should do now, the greater the odds that you will never actually do it.” A younger me thought that this doesn’t apply to me. Younger me was wrong. It applies to all of us.

Here’s a short video filmed in Central Park with an encouragement on the topic.

May all your epiphanies result in positive changes.

You Really ARE God's Gift to the World

Image by Михаил Мингазов from Pixabay

"You think you're God's gift to the world!" was a phrase we'd use growing up.  The intent was to put someone in their place if we thought they were being arrogant or prideful. 

But hold on for a minute...

If you think about it, God made each one of us, selected a point in time and a location for us to be born, and gave us an incredibly unique set of skills, talents, tastes, and abilities. 

And His intent was for us to use those abilities to make our world a better place.  We'll do that in different ways, but most of us are trying our best.

The question isn't how much of an impact are you making.  Instead, are you making the kind of impact you were designed to make? 

The world - your world - needs you to keep showing up and trying in your own way to make it a better place.  

God knew we needed you in our world.  You're His gift to us.  But if you keep hiding in false humility we'll never get the benefit.

So rise up and be all you were meant to be.  Because you really are God's gift to the world.

Have a great Summer!

Get a Soul Recharge

Image by Erich Westendarp from Pixabay

It might not seem all that important, but the Linden trees are in bloom every year at this time. They give off one of my favorite scents.

What IS important is taking time to go enjoy the small things in life that bring you pleasure.

Summer is upon us and will soon be gone. Make sure you intentionally feed your soul to keep it healthy.

Enjoy!

Align With Your Design

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Q: Coach Pete, you talk about being true to myself, but I’ve been so programmed by other people’s expectations that I no longer know who I really am.  How can I recover the real me?  

A: That’s a great question, and you’re not alone.  I’ve been going through this journey to “re-humanize” myself as well.  Here are five helpful sources that I’ve discovered along the way.

1) Ask those who know you

Ask close family members, coworkers, and friends to honestly tell you what your strengths and weaknesses are. They can point out your good and bad blind spots, and be a great “mirror” for you. Note: pay special attention if more than one person points out the same thing.

2) Ask your history

Take some time to reflect on the accomplishments in your life and note the times you felt successful, fully alive, or in your “zone.”  It helps a lot if you write these down. For each scenario, ask yourself:

• What was the setting?

• What skills and talents did you use?

• What roles did you serve?

Do you see patterns of traits that show up multiple times?  Those are aspects of your core design shining through. When you align with your design, you get the best results.

3) Ask science

We live in a time where the science of personality development is exploding. It’s worth your time and expense to take an assessment or two to better understand how you’re wired.

I’ve seen huge results as I’ve coached clients through the WeAlign Strengths Alignment Package. I also like gifttest.org, and DISC, and I know people who prefer MBTI, the Enneagram, Colors, and many others. The key is to know what the assessment is attempting to measure as well as its limitations.

4) Ask a professional

A qualified coach is trained to help you get clarity on your life purpose and calling.  As an objective sounding board, your coach can often accelerate the process and get you results much faster than going it on your own.

5) Ask your Creator

Last, but certainly not least, if you want to know your design it makes sense to consult The Designer. 

You may have heard it said that your talents are God’s gift to you, but what you do with them is your gift to God.  So it’s logical that God is biased toward helping you understand your design in order to make a difference in the world. Ask for guidance and understanding in your prayers, and try some spiritual journaling. Ephesians 2:10

Summary

Each of these factors contribute a part of the whole - the bigger picture of your unique design. Be intentional in your discovery, but remember it’s a process that never completely ends, so be patient with yourself.

Do you need help sorting things out? Let’s have a no-obligation discovery call and see if we can move you forward.

Are you smoking "Hopium?"

Image by Albert Dezetter from Pixabay

Been here before. Now I’m breaking the cycle. How about you?

Hopium

1. An addiction to false hopes.

2. The state of wallowing in self-pity combined with the delusion of potential fame/greatness. One in this state will hope for others to pity or save them, yet paradoxically romanticize their own struggle, pitying themselves and never moving on to achieve their dreams.

Watch the video below to learn more…

Do you know anyone who’s stuck in this pattern? What do you wish you could tell them?

Stop Drifting and Start Deciding!

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

As I was building on the theme of Losing Your Soul at Work, I uncovered one important dynamic that runs through it all - not being intentional.

When I look back at the times in my life where I felt the most unfulfilled, resentful, or taken advantage of, the common thread was that I abdicated my own free will and just went along with what other people thought was best for me. Not good.

Fortunately, that isn’t a constant in my life. But one indicator that I’m starting to drift in that direction is when I neglect setting clear goals. A close cousin is when I don’t update my goals and make adjustments based on changing circumstances.

I invite you to watch the short video below as I dig deeper and get honest with myself.

Do you feel like you’re drifting sometimes? What do you think is the real underlying motive? I’d love to get your feedback in the comments below. Or, contact me to discuss updating your own goals.

What Happens When You Stop Learning?

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I’ve found that I can put up with a lot of negative things on my job (salary cuts, bad bosses, failed projects, etc.) as long as one thing is in place… that I’m learning something new.  If I’m gaining knowledge, new skills, wisdom, etc., I tell myself I’m making an investment that will pay off in the future, and that positivity helps carries me along.

But if the learning stops I start dying inside.  Boredom sets in, I start complaining more, and it makes it much harder to tolerate the negative things in life.  It also causes me to wonder what I’m missing out on if I went to work someplace else.

In the following video, I share some thoughts about what happens when you stop learning, and what questions you can ask yourself to get back on track.  (Bonus: Look for the appearance by El Cid at the end)

"Selling" Your Soul in Professional Sales

(Note: I'm not referring to the state of your soul in eternity, but rather the integrity and health of your conscience and personhood).

When I did some reflection on how I may have compromised my own values (see the last blog entry), one area stood out - selling something professionally that I didn't really believe in.

This short video gives a couple of insights, and how I'm trying to turn that around. 

Maybe you don’t sell products or services, but most of us have to sell ideas or points of view at some time in our lives.

Can you relate? I’d love to hear your thoughts.