relationships

S2E7 - The Importance of Owning Your Talents

 
 

I grew up in a large family of competitive, talented people with big personalities. We achieved well in academics and music, and the peer pressure to “live up to the family name” drove us to excel and win many awards.

But one phrase you’d often hear from my family and religious upbringing was “don’t get a big head.” The clear message was that basking in your own glory would lead to arrogance. One way to counter that temptation was to be hard on yourself. Maybe that would cut you down to size, and it could motivate you to try even harder. Can you relate?

Years of life experience have taught me that this is not a productive approach. It’s much healthier to embrace and celebrate the talents that make you stand out. That takes courage, and it doesn’t need to result in arrogance. In fact, once you reconcile with your own greatness, it actually frees you up to get your eyes off yourself and serve others, unencumbered.

In this week’s podcast we’ll unpack the unintended downside of not embracing your talents, and what you can do to start moving forward.

I’d love to hear if and how you deal with this dynamic in your life. Comment below, or write to me at askpete@petecoaching.com

Free tools referenced in this episode:

Listen to the episode below, or on your favorite podcast platform.

S2E6 - Personality Tests and Self Awareness

 
 

I’ll never forget the first personality assessment I took and how much the results intrigued me. Lynn and I were newly married, took the Myers Briggs Type Indicator and reviewed the results with a certified counselor.

I remember being floored that the results showed I had an unfair advantage in taking standardized tests. I already knew that to be true, but this explained the “why.” It predicted that Lynn had a natural love of languages (she knew 4 at the time), and could appreciate quirky personalities (ahem). How could a simple test reveal such specific personality traits?

A few years later I was introduced to DISC, and then the Motivational Gifts assessment, which added further layers to my understanding. They also fueled my natural interest in what makes each person unique, and how they could maximize their strengths. All of this was before I ever even heard of coaching.

Now, I use assessments with many of my coaching clients. But I’m also well aware of their limitations and potential drawbacks. They’re not meant to explain everything, but they can serve as a useful tool to round out the full picture of your design and destiny.

In this podcast episode I’ll take you deeper into personality assessment tools (including the Enneagram) with my guest, Nathan Hubbard.

If you’ve taken an assessment, let me know what your personal experience has been.

Show notes:

0:42 “Personality begins where comparison ends”
2:00 Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
4:40 Some of the different assessments
8:20 Assessment limitations
11:08 No excuses!
12:30 Coaching Stories
18:44 Guest intro: Nathan Hubbard
22:08 The Survivor TV show is Enneagram on display
26:07 Make it real challenge

Guest, Nathan Hubbard www.nathanhubbardmusic.com

Links to assessments:

Listen to the episode below, or on your favorite podcast platform.

S2E5 - Seeing Past Your Blind Spots

 
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I’ve found that one of the biggest stumbling blocks to my Emotional Intelligence is a lack of self-awareness. 

Jesus addresses this all-too-human tendency in Matthew 7: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” Easily see everyone else’s faults - oblivious to my own. Yikes.

I tend to be an intense person, rapidly processing my next thoughts, calculating different scenarios, and connecting lots of big concepts - all at the same time! When that gets verbalized, the result can be overwhelming for the listener. (My wife, Lynn, with eyeballs rolling whispers, “understatement!”)

Of course all this is unintended, because my intent is to build warm connections with other people. But with a lifelong history of social mis-queues, I’ve learned to read people better and ask them how I’m coming across. I need that kind of feedback to keep me on track. Sometimes the feedback is painful, but it’s how I learn and grow.

This is one of the reasons clients retain me as a coach. I can (gently) point out their blind spot in a safe setting, and then we can process through it together with no judgment. The result is improved performance when they get back in the game at work or at home.

The other type of blindspot is when you don’t appreciate your exceptional talents. In this podcast episode I highlight that aspect and give you some practical exercises to gain better self-awareness and make a bigger impact in the world.

Let me know if you gain any new insights.

Highlights:
0:37 “The most common blind spot is believing that others have them, but you don’t”
2:18 Imagine a dinner table full of 8 competitive kids interrupting each other
6:03 Other people can see you more clearly than you can see yourself
7:45 Self-coaching exercises
15:08 Wrap up

Links:
Free download - what everyone else sees about your Destiny www.petecoaching.com/blindspot
Decoding Your Destiny online course http://www.petecoaching.com/online-course

Listen to the episode below, or on your favorite podcast platform.